Shark flicks aren’t modeled on actual sharks so a great deal as they are the creature recognised as Jaws. That certain manufacturer of Good White, lest we fail to remember, made the capacity to keep track of a human foe from Massachusetts to the Bahamas, not to point out roar. These are not issues sharks do, and this form of depiction has experienced a decidedly unfavorable impression on their track record. Jaws author Peter Benchley felt so terrible for his element in demonizing sharks that he devoted the latter element of his existence to shark conservationism.

This earlier weekend, a new shark film swan into theaters. 47 Meters Down was no masterpiece, but it is been lauded by critics (together with our possess) for not indulging much too a great deal into the sensationalistic traits of most shark flicks. Like final year’s The Shallows, however, its 3rd act “takes an abrupt swerve in a fewer plausible, additional heightened route,” according to our overview. Alas.

Jezebel’s Prosperous Juzwiak has prolonged struggled with filmic depictions of sharks and, motivated by 47 Meters Down, made a decision to dig deep into every thing shark flicks get scientifically erroneous in an entertaining new piece.

Unsurprisingly (at least for enthusiasts of shark flicks), Jaws The Revenge suffers most of Juzwiak’s wrath. He sums it up thusly:

Jaws the Revenge features several astonishing violations of primary science: The wonderful white travels from Massachusetts to the Bahamas in 3 times (bodily impossible) to enact revenge on the Brody household (psychologically impossible) and at the movie’s climax, it stands on its tail (gravitationally impossible) on drinking water (spiritually impossible) so that Ellen Brody can spear it with a boat, which results in it to explode.

Not only does he accompany his analysis with hilarious clips, he also concludes the piece by culling a series of images and GIFs that provide as “a salute to the sharks that have fully misrepresented sharks’ appearances and exposed the limitations of rubber and fiberglass.” They’re all gold, but it is difficult to consider any film topping the uncanny manipulation of stock footage favored by cult favored Shark Attack 3: Megalodon, which has presented us wonderful sequences like these:

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon

Possibly their unreality is all for the greater?

[Be aware: Jezebel, like The A.V. Club, is owned by Univision Communications.]

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