Me in 50 years.
Photo: Barcroft Media / Barcroft Media via Getty Images

Some personal news: I no longer intend to spend my golden years tend a kooky olive oil store in Arizona, as it was the plan last week. Instead, I will withdraw to this lazy retirement home in Wales. Complete disclosure, I am not a lazy. However, it has been said that where there is a will, there is also a means, then.

People reports that the Folly Farm Zoo and Theme Park, dubbed fancifully, now offers aging sloths a quiet place to spend their post-professional years. When opened in Novemberthe farm's retired community consisted of two slowly advancing people: the Tuppees, 24, and Lightcap, 24, and Lightcap, 34 ("the fifth-oldest lazy of all European zoos"), by Folly Farm, thanks reverence to your Queen), which sounds like an excellent company.

Folly Farm thinks that the adoption of lazy zoo in retirement will be beneficial, both from the point of view of health lazy and from the point of view of conservation. The sloth's natural lifespan would extend considerably into captivity, from 20 to 50 years, and welcoming older ones means that zoos have more space and resources to deal with the lazy ones. According to Folly Farm, the goal is to give retirees "a comfortable home, tailored to their needs, as they relax in their twilight," and I think that's really what we all want.

"Sore muscles, cracking joints, and a little slowing down are all things that happen to us with age, and most animals are no different," said Zoo Curator Tim Morphew. "With lazy olds, we could boil their root vegetables to make them sweeter and easier to eat and, if they show signs of old age, add supplements such as cod liver oil in their diet. "The farm could also lower the height. so that the sloths do not slip and do not hurt themselves during bad accidents of relaxation. It also seems likely to make the notoriously difficult lazy poo process easier, than I imagine that lazy old people will appreciate.

As you may know, lazy tend to prefer lonely living a life lived among their peers, but according to Folly Farm, they become more likely to spend time with others as they get older. Even maybe. We will see.

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