This blog is being published on the day of my actual birthday! Hooray for April 6th! And I know what you are wondering. Did Daisy have her baby? No she did not. Furthermore, she is not even looking or acting like she might have a baby anytime soon. My hopes for more baby goats are being dashed. Dashed ON MY BIRTHDAY even.
For my birthday this year, my kids are cooking me dinner. But not until Sunday because they are all big now and have places to be and things to do. Sunday is the first day we could all have dinner together.
Having a birthday is different when you are an adult. When you are a child, everyone asks you what you want for your birthday. Now that I am an adult, everyone is telling me what THEY want for my birthday. So far, I need to buy a horse, new ballet slippers, a phone, a charger, and some other stuff that I forgot about. Nobody has even asked me what I want. That is probably because they already know what I want.
I want a cow.
This morning I got a text from The Pastor’s mother. She wanted to meet me in the town she lives in. I was a little concerned so I talked to The Pastor about it.
“She was very mysterious.” I said “Do you think I’m in trouble?”
“You’re not in trouble.” The Pastor assured me “She just wants to give you a birthday gift!”
“Oh!” I gasped “A birthday gift! Do you think it’s cows?!”
“It’s not cattle.” he said.
“But maybe it’s one cow.” I said “Maybe it’s a nice jersey cow. With a calf, even!”
“Snarky.” The Pastor said very seriously “This world is a crazy place. Unexplainable things happen all the time. The impossible happens every day. But there is one thing I can assure you of without a doubt. There is absolutely no chance that my mom is putting a Jersey cow in her Ford Focus and giving it to you for your birthday. Now I want you to remember that, and whatever she gives you, don’t be disappointed that it’s not a cow. When there is no birthday livestock, you need to promise me that you won’t make her feel bad, like you don’t like her gift.”
I glared at The Pastor.
“I can’t believe you think so little of me.” I said “I can’t believe you would think that I would be the kind of person who would just stop expecting cows. How do you even think I’m going to get any cattle if I don’t expect them to be right around the corner. Obviously your mom isn’t going to put a cow in her car. That would be ridiculous. She COULD put the cows in a trailer and haul that behind her car.”
The Pastor stared at me for a moment.
“Ford Focus.” he whispered.
“We should probably bring the truck when we go to meet her.” I said. “I would hate to get a trailer full of cattle for my birthday and have no way to haul them home! That would be embarrassing!”
Then The Pastor muttered something as he walked away. I couldn’t understand what he said, but it was probably something about how sorry he was for trying to dash my hopes and how amazing and beautiful I am.
So it is my birthday. The cattle are almost here. I can almost smell them, and no matter what anyone tells you, it is the best smell in the whole world.